How “Trigger” Became a Weapon Instead of a Tool for Understanding

“I have been told that I will trigger the subconscious of some humans while speaking my truth.”

That’s what he said to me after I called out his misogyny. I was sticking up for a friend on Facebook, pointing out how he was gaslighting her—twisting her words, dismissing her experience, making her feel like she was overreacting for standing up for herself. Instead of engaging with what I said, he defaulted to the laziest response possible: You’re just triggered.

It wasn’t an apology. It wasn’t accountability. It was a deflection—a way to reframe my valid reaction as weakness instead of addressing the harm he had caused.

The word trigger was never meant to be a gotcha, but somewhere along the way, it became one.

Originally, “triggered” was a clinical term used in psychology to describe how trauma survivors experience distress when something reminds them of past harm. It wasn’t about being offended. It wasn’t about being sensitive. It was about the way the brain processes trauma, how it protects itself, and sometimes, how it fails to.

But today, “triggered” has been hijacked. It’s been turned into an insult, a punchline, a way to shut people down instead of opening up conversation. When men (or anyone, really) say, “Sorry that the truth triggered you,” they aren’t apologizing. They’re positioning themselves as rational and logical while painting the other person as irrational and fragile. They’re implying that they have a handle on reality while the person expressing pain or frustration is just too emotional to deal with it.

It’s gaslighting in action.

Here’s the truth: Being “triggered” isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s an indicator. It tells us something about past harm, about the systems and behaviors that perpetuate it, about where we need more care, more change, more justice. It’s not an excuse to dismiss people—it’s a reason to listen harder.

So, instead of using, “triggered” as a weapon, what if we used it as a building block? What if, when someone expressed distress, we asked, “why?” instead of rolling our eyes? What if, instead of saying, “sorry that triggered you,” we said, “I hear you. Tell me more.”

Understanding isn’t about proving someone wrong. It’s about being willing to sit in the discomfort of realizing you might not be right.