The Closet: A Place of Shame or Safety? The History of “Coming Out”

Where Did “The Closet” Come From?

The phrase “in the closet” originally had nothing to do with sexuality. It simply meant keeping a secret—any secret. But by the mid-20th century, the term became closely tied to 2SLGBTQIA+ identities. If someone was queer but not publicly open about it, they were said to be “in the closet.”

Then came the rise of queer liberation movements. With events like the Stonewall Riots in 1969 and the growth of Pride marches, the idea of “coming out of the closet” became an act of empowerment. It meant no longer hiding and instead embracing one’s identity publicly.

Why Some People Want Us “Back in the Closet”

Even today, people throw around the phrase “go back in the closet” as an insult. The implication is clear: queerness should be hidden, erased, or silenced. It’s rooted in the belief that being 2SLGBTQIA+ is something shameful.

But let’s flip that narrative.

The Closet Isn’t Shameful—The Need for It Is

I don’t see the closet as a place of shame. I see it as a place of protection. If someone is “in the closet,” it often means they cannot be their true, authentic self without risking harm—whether that’s rejection, discrimination, or even violence.

Being in the closet isn’t cowardice. It’s survival. And it is not the fault of the person inside—it is the fault of a society that still makes it dangerous to be openly queer.

To Those Still in the Closet: You Are Seen

If you’re in the closet right now, I want you to know: you are not alone. You are just as much a part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community as those who can be out.

You don’t owe anyone your coming out. You get to decide when, how, and if it happens. And for those of us who can be out, we will keep fighting to make the world safer for you.

Because one day, I want everyone to feel safe stepping out of the closet. Until then, know that you are valid, loved, and seen.