Q&A: Ignore the Haters? No, I Keep an Eye on Them

“Ignore the haters.”

Let’s be real, this kind of toxic positivity is not only condescending, but it strips marginalized people of the agency to feel what they feel and respond how they want. Telling someone to just ignore hateful comments, threats, or abuse is dismissive at best and dangerous at worst.

Privilege and the Reality of Confrontation

Someone wants to physically harm me, and my response should be… to ignore them? If you think physical violence is just a hypothetical, then congratulations, you’re in a very privileged position.

Because I’ve been spit on. I’ve been pissed on. I’ve been physically assaulted. Ask any woman, any marginalized person—they’ll tell you the same thing. This isn’t paranoia. This is lived experience.

People assume we’re just naturally empathetic, always scanning the room for other people’s emotions. No. We’re hyper-aware because we have to be. It’s survival. It’s how we make it to tomorrow.

We Can’t Afford to Ignore Hate

So no, I’m not ignoring the haters. I’m keeping an eye on them. Because pretending they don’t exist won’t keep me safe.

You can ignore the haters all you want. The rest of us? We don’t have that luxury.