Q&A: Is “You Guys” Offensive? A Guide to Inclusive Language

So, the question is: how do you feel about someone who says you guys when referring to a group? I use that phrase, but suddenly I worry—could I be triggering or hurting someone?

What a fantastic question. First, let’s address the term itself. Guys is a gendered word. If you don’t believe me, ask a straight man how many guys he’s been with—you’ll get your answer pretty quickly. But the more important part of this question is the concern behind it: I don’t want to hurt someone. That’s empathy. That’s human nature. Most of us don’t want to cause harm. It’s a good quality to have. But if we focus too much on the fear of hurting someone, we can miss the bigger picture. We make it about ourselves—our discomfort, our anxiety about saying the wrong thing—and that can stop us from growing.

I see this in my comment sections all the time. What if I say the wrong thing? What if someone gets mad at me? But what if they don’t? What if they learn and grow? What if you do? Instead of worrying about how one person might react, flip the script. Think about how you can make everyone feel like they belong.

As a public speaker, I’ve spoken to thousands of people, and I never go on stage thinking, “what if I offend one person?” Instead, I ask myself, “how do I make everyone in the audience feel welcome?” That shift in perspective changes everything. It moves us from catering to an individual (which can create division) to fostering a sense of belonging for all—including ourselves.

And that’s your answer. It’s not about one person—it’s about everyone.

Hey everyone, how’s it going today?

Pretty simple. Thanks for the question!